I Fail

Good News:  Craig got Franklin adopted.  A nice family with a few other cats got their 13 year old daughter a kitten for her birthday.  After careful kitten inspection at the adoption fair today, she chose Franklin.  Yay!  We wanted Franklin and Bootsy to go to a home together, but a home is better than no home.  And 'the orange kitten' was so popular before, I'm pretty sure we'll get Bootsy a home soon.

More Good News:  Dad's white blood cell count is two thousand!  You need 500 to fight any infection and 1,200 is normal-ish.

Bad News: He's still spiking fevers on and off.  But they say that's normal.  Sucks, but is normal.

This was supposed to be a goodbye photo

Bad News: I can't read a calendar.  I was supposed to fly back to LA today.  After some issues with the self-check in at the airport this afternoon, I went to an attendant.  She let me know that the ticket was for 6.27 - next Saturday.  Oh shit!  I booked the ticket for a week in advance.  Damn.  Ironically, I also sent my itinerary to Dad, Mom, and Craig, and not one of us caught that.  Guess I should buy tickets when stressed out with finals.  American Airlines told me it would cost a thousand dollars to re-book this weekend.  I nearly died.  

4 hours later, my parents got me a ticket back to LA tomorrow on Jet Blue- for far less than a thousand too!  Thanks Mom, Dad, and Jet Blue.  AA- you failed me.  A taxi ride back to downtown Chicago.  I've had better days. 

Better News:  I got to have dinner at Karen's, a favorite vegan restaurant of my mom's out here.  I had an amazing polenta, and an pomegranate soda martini with natural vodka.  Most tasty!  My mom got 'ribs'- which tasted like good hotdogs with amazing bbq sauce.  The cornbread and carrot cake were ok (bit dry, not sweet enough for me), and the mead wasn't as sweet as I like it.  But overall, super fantastic food.  And not even 'fantastic for vegan,' but really tasty.

Even Better News: Now I get to spend Father's Day with my dad.  I tell him I arranged all this to spend father's day with him.  Ok, it's a lie that he knows isn't true, but it's a good lie.

It's 11:45 pm just got back from the hospital.  Kinda tired.  Miss kittens.  But Mom and I picked up brunch stuff Father's Day brunch tomorrow.  Yay.  Ok, nap time.

0.3!

Dad's white blood cell count is now 0.3!  Yay!  What does that mean?  I don't know, but it used to be 0.1, and 0.3 is much better.  This is a very good thing.  

I also made it to the aquarium today, videos of leafy sea dragons to come.

And my sister did well on the GRE. 

Good news all around.  Now does anyone want a kitten?  (Seriously.)

Update

Update: It's almost ten, and my dad's fever spiked.  

Mom staying at the hospital to see what the doctor says.  

I offered to stay instead or stay with her, but they said to just go home.  

And now I'm back at the hotel debating whether to wait up or go to sleep.  

Hate feeling so helpless, but can't do much - 

except wash my hands a lot, take care of myself, and wait and see.

Hospital TV

There's a TV in the hospital room, and apparently there is a 'zen out' channel.  Probably really great if you're on lots of drugs, but not too bad when you're just sober and tired.  It just plays non-confrontational shots of nature.  It's nine at night, and I'm almost dozing in a chair while watching this channel and listening to Barenaked Ladies on my computer.  It's a really comfy chair.  The kind where you can kick up your legs.

Barenaked Ladies not on hospital TV.

I think I've just watched various angles of waterfalls and bird of paradise flowers for the last five minutes.  It's a nice channel.  Whenever I'm really stressed, I can usually decompress with some sort of wildlife channel.  This channel has all the wildlife, but no carnage.  No circle of life, just life.  Waterfall

Trees.  A hummingbird.  

Some flamingos.

  A flower.  Another flower. 

Oceans.  A beach.  A sunset.  Clouds.  

Another waterfall.  

A lot like this.

I have no idea if there is sound, since my dad doesn't play it with sound.  But I imagine Enya would probably be singing something soothing.  Probably about a boat or the rain, or boating in the rain.

Enya is not on hospital TV, but maybe she should be.

It's Not A Vacation

Maybe I'm still on California time, maybe I have too much on my mind, or maybe I just miss my cat, but I just can't get to sleep anymore.  Took an ambien, and waiting for blissful unconsciousness.

Before I left for Chicago, a lot of people acted like I was going on a great vacation.  It was difficult to respond, because, well, this isn't a vacation.  As my mom so eloquently put it, "This is a medical trip interspersed with good restaurants, but it isn't a vacations."  It helped to think about it like that.  I've been feeling guilty and frustrated that the only 'vacation' I've had in a while involves spending most of the day in the hospital.  Yes, the food here is great and it's fun to do some shopping, but the majority of the time is spent in the hospital.  I never know when any plans we have will be canceled because things have gone poorly for Dad that day.  It is stressful.  It is the uncertainly that kills me.  I would love a trip to Chicago without the hospital junk.  But seeing this as a family emergency instead of a fun vacation makes this trip so much easier.

Should Ambien make you see in double?

Ok, must stop typing.  Ambien is killing any of my typing skills.  Good night and good luck.

An elephant, sushi, and a circus walk into a bar...

Another day of tasty eating.  I met my mom at the hospital, and we went over to the Elephant & Castle Pub and Restaurant for lunch.  It was most yummy.  They had fantastic calamari, wrapped in paper made to look like newspaper.  Mom and I also split a chicken bruschetta sandwich, which had a great pesto mayo.  And if you ever find yourself there, I highly recommend their Bailey's Cheesecake.  Imagine... well, Bailey's and cheesecake.  You get the idea.

http://www.elephantcastle.com/main.html

After an afternoon of hospital fun-times, Mom and I took a break to see Cirque Shanghai at the Navy Pier.  It was 70 minutes of acrobats in sparkly unitards doing amazing things- like putting their feet behind their ears while doing a handstand on someone's back.  Or juggling plates.  Or hats.  Or people.  I think the lighting would have made it even better to see it at night, but it was still a great diversion at 4pm.

 

I want to join the circus!

Once the show was over, there was a great sushi place called Nui that was on the way back to the hospital.  They did flights of sake, so we tasted three different types.  'Dream Cloud' was the winner.  We had the 'Energy' roll- a crunchy roll with eel and 'Mellow Yellow'- which had salmon and mango.  While I didn't try any cocktails, they looked really tasty and quite creative.  Something to look forward to for next time.  One thing to note, they had one of the most 'Zen' bathrooms I have ever seen.  If I was ever going to meditate in a bathroom, this one would be it.

http://niusushi.com/

We were going to try a tapas bar later in the evening, but it was a bad chemo day, and Dad was too sick to be left alone later.  Take the good with the bad.  I stayed at the hospital till around 10pm, and then headed back to the hotel.  I took advantage of the Saloon Steakhouse and order the lobster bisque to 

go.  Taking my fancy soup back to the room.  I enjoyed it with its brandy cream and shrimp toast while in my pajamas and watching terrible reality TV about bridzillas and women with 18 children. 

My First

I am a 24 year old grad student working on my MBA part-time at UCLA while working full-time at the front office of a TV production company.  I have aspirations of completing my masters and taking over the world.  Or at least starting my own company.  Between work and school, there has not been much down time.  Yet, finals are over and I have a week off of work.  Seems like a good time to start a blog.

This week off finds me visiting Chicago, which would be all fun and awesomeness if it wasn't for the fact that the main reason I'm out here is to see my dad going through the worst part of the chemo related to his stem cell transplant.  See, my dad has been sick for the better part of the last decade.  It's hard to describe exactly what he has, because it is so complicated and so rare.  Basically, he has auto-immune problems.  After years of different treatments, he's finally going through with a stem cell transplant.  People I've told about this say 'how cool' it is to have this cutting-edge procedure.  Cool?  Well, I hope desperately that it works.  Of course, cool is not the first thing that comes to mind as a I sit in a hospital room with a father who is half conscious and pumped up on painkillers.  Cool is not having to wash my hands (twice!) every time I come to the 15th floor of the hospital to my dad's room, because he has about two white blood cells in his whole body.  Cool is not watching my dad dry heave.  When I first got to his room, I felt afraid to even breath.  

Dad and I - pre stem cell transplant

So here I sit at the hospital half freaked out with what is going on and half wondering was tasty restaurant will be a good choice for dinner.  Dad is on enough drugs that he's telling us about the dead people he saw (maybe in a dream?).  His grandfather, his best friend, our old greyhound, and the kitten I had who got sick and died.  They're all hanging out with him on the beach.  Just chilling.  Seems like everyone is having a good time.

Fortunately, every restaurant here in Chicago seems to be tasty, so that takes care of dinner.  Too bad the hospital part isn't so easy to fix.  And that's the crux of living with someone seriously and chronically ill.  How does one live their life, and enjoy it, while someone they love is so sick?  I refuse to not enjoy myself for the days/months/years he is sick, but it's difficult to find the balance.  Whether it's leaving the hospital for dinner or just getting up everyday to go to work knowing he went to the ER last night.  It's something I've wrestled with for years.