Sunday, October 9, 2011

One Month Anniversary

Today is my husband and my monthiversary. I have friends who claim that it should technically be called a mensiversary, but that just sounds too bloody to me. So yes, Craig and I have been married for a whole month. It sounds like we are just starting out, even though we have been together for over 5 years. Somehow all of that disappears as one starts counting post marriage.

So what has life been like after the wedding?

I feel old. Having a husband just makes me sound so much older than having a fiance. There is a strange mix of comfort and serious maturity with having a husband. A fiance is a much flightier creature. A fiance has not yet really committed, though he might help pick out wedding colors. A fiance is the sexy stage of almost getting married. It's all about buying diamonds and using French words.

Somehow, husband doesn't have the same effect. It's not a bad thing. I feel much more mature telling people about my husband. I am still slipping and calling him my fiance. After all, we dated two years and then were engaged for three years. He's been my fiance a damn long time.

The rest of life has been on the process of settling down. The initial insanity of the wedding was over. (Still thinking of an excuse to rent another water park.) The honeymoon was a fantastic trip. Kids just started school, there were no lines for anything. There were a few wedding and honeymoon mishaps, but that's another story.

Life if a lot similar to life before. This is true despite people who would try to convince us otherwise. I have heard from some that marriage will lead to the guy saying less stupid things (and from more reliable sources, the opposite tends to be true.) My new husband and I got an article a very religious family member thought we'd like. It basically said to cut out all your external relationship. Craig and I feel outside friends and space is key for any healthy relationship.

The biggest change is my new job, but that didn't come from being married. We still go out. We watch TV and dote on our pets, especially Buttercup. We make each other laugh a lot and cry a little. Marriage has not fixed any, but that wasn't really the point. We do work on things, but we don't need to be fixed.

We are celebrating our monthiversary by seeing the photographer tonight and getting the wedding photos. I am excited. They are truly lovely. And it's a great way to remember that big party we had, not to improve our relationship, but to celebrate and confirm a rad relationship we already had.

It's been a good month. I love Craig, my fiance... I mean husband.

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