Wednesday, June 17, 2009

It's Not A Vacation

Maybe I'm still on California time, maybe I have too much on my mind, or maybe I just miss my cat, but I just can't get to sleep anymore.  Took an ambien, and waiting for blissful unconsciousness.

Before I left for Chicago, a lot of people acted like I was going on a great vacation.  It was difficult to respond, because, well, this isn't a vacation.  As my mom so eloquently put it, "This is a medical trip interspersed with good restaurants, but it isn't a vacations."  It helped to think about it like that.  I've been feeling guilty and frustrated that the only 'vacation' I've had in a while involves spending most of the day in the hospital.  Yes, the food here is great and it's fun to do some shopping, but the majority of the time is spent in the hospital.  I never know when any plans we have will be canceled because things have gone poorly for Dad that day.  It is stressful.  It is the uncertainly that kills me.  I would love a trip to Chicago without the hospital junk.  But seeing this as a family emergency instead of a fun vacation makes this trip so much easier.

Should Ambien make you see in double?

Ok, must stop typing.  Ambien is killing any of my typing skills.  Good night and good luck.

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